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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
My daughter has begun her senior year. 
7th-Sep-2012 03:09 pm
Elayna! - Karlita
Using my oldest LJ icon of her just because. That's her in first or second grade.

And now she's a senior.

Dude.

Yesterday was her first day! I failed to get a picture, but I'll insist that she put the outfit on this weekend so I can take a fake first-day pic. She looked wonderful. Not like I'm biased. Will post the pic when I take it.

She came home excited and happy; she has the great teacher she had for history last year for civics this year, the one who told Adam that he just wanted a class full of Elaynas. Her new math teacher totally punked the class by giving them an ornate and unsolvable problem and letting them sweat it for a few minutes - "Anyone figured it out yet? You signed up for an honors class and you can't do that problem? ...LOL j/k that is totally not what we're doing in this class." She's super-excited about her astronomy class.

She has one problem, and it's fixable. An ex-friend of hers is in her civics class, a guy who posts racist and rapey shit on his Tumblr and lit into her for her objections to it. "And this is politics and opinions and I just do not want to engage with him," she said. But she looked into it, and apparently the same great teacher's honors civics class is during a period that she currently has as a free study period, so she's going to talk to him about bumping up to honors. Given her A- in his history class last year and his high opinion of her in general, that shouldn't be a problem.

I love that by the time she got home, she'd already
1. Identified the problem
2. Did not resign herself to suffering
3. Did the research to find a solution
4. Developed a plan.

This is huge progress, honestly, from the kid who once would have sat in misery or needed step-by-step problem-solving guidance. This is her handling her own stuff, like she'll have to do in college next year. I'm really glad to see her taking the initiative now when she still has the safety net.

She'll talk to the civics teacher today, and she's also planning to talk to her English teacher about bumping up to honors English, because she was bored last year in non-honors and she has the grades for it. Also she wants to change that stray study period into an elective. She was just going through a lot of stress at class-selection time, so she has stuff to fix now.

Her first band and a capella performances of the year are on Sunday, for the town's annual 9/11 memorial. Senior year - she'll have solos. She'll get a pin and a standing ovation at the end of the year. Every performance is the last of its kind; the last winter concert. The last Band-A-Rama.

She's narrowed down her college choices. I still randomly get teary-eyed when I bring in the mail and half of it is for her from the colleges that are wooing her the hardest.

This is the year of everything ending. And then we will have the year of everything beginning.

She is going to soar. And I am not going to be by her side, because she has to do it alone. That's the next step after this year - the step away from me.

I don't know what our relationship will be like, when she leaves. It won't be distant like my relationship with my mom. It won't be as pathologically close as my mother's relationship with her mother or my sister. We will figure it out.

Senior year.

Here we go.
Comments 
7th-Sep-2012 07:11 pm (UTC)
Good luck to Elayna though it seems like she's doing quite well!
7th-Sep-2012 07:16 pm (UTC)
There are so many incredibly cool ways to have a mother-daughter relationship without being distant or claustrophobic. I know you two will find the one that's perfect for you. There might be a bump here and a skinned knee there, but you'll find it, and it will inspire the heck out of everyone.
7th-Sep-2012 07:28 pm (UTC)
This all sounds wonderful. You're very lucky to have Elayna as a daughter, and she's very lucky to have you for a mom.
7th-Sep-2012 07:47 pm (UTC)
I don't know what our relationship will be like, when she leaves. It won't be distant like my relationship with my mom. It won't be as pathologically close as my mother's relationship with her mother or my sister. We will figure it out.

I strongly believe that it will be loving, and it will be mutually respectful. Beyond that lie only details.
7th-Sep-2012 08:28 pm (UTC) - So glad she's leveled up
I remember your commentary about how much hand-holding she needed... wasn't that just last week?
8th-Sep-2012 01:56 am (UTC)
Wheee!!!! Kind-of makes you want to cheer and throw up, doesn't it?

You can do it. You can >both< do it.
8th-Sep-2012 02:00 am (UTC)
Funny how the time flies... cuz some days feel like FOREVER... but it really isn't is it?
something like 1350 days until my son graduates.
It seems like such a big number, and still so finite.
Good luck!
8th-Sep-2012 03:40 am (UTC)
Delurking here. My son is entering his last year at McGill. I have always wanted a thinking happy primate with his own life who occasionally wants to have dinner with me. And this is what happened.

As they say on the commercial, "priceless".</p>

It sounds like you are on the same journey :)

9th-Sep-2012 02:46 pm (UTC)
Your daughter, she rocks the Casbah.
9th-Sep-2012 09:46 pm (UTC)
I'm glad that you two have such an awesome relationship.

And she won't do it alone. Someone has to see how high she can fly.
2nd-Jun-2013 03:33 pm (UTC) - That's the Elayna I remember!
That's who I picture - or I did, until I saw the prom pictures! And I remember you having to sit on her to get her to keep her binder organized and get her homework done on time...and now look at her. You two have done an amazing job with each other.

And as I'm reading backwards to catch up on the last few years, let me be the latest to offer my "Whoa. Layne" thoughts to the hundreds you've already gotten. I hope he was able to find some happiness in family he made for himself; you have certainly found that and so much more in yours.
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