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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Am I legitimate enough for you? 
21st-Aug-2012 12:59 pm
Illyana/soulsword
A few weeks ago, I posted about my experience of sexual assault and rape in my life, and the ways in which some of that sexual violence is not seen as a real thing or as a serious thing. I posted that, obviously, because to a lot of uneducated people, they don't think of those things as rape. Which, yes, they are.

When we do workshops at BARCC, we sometimes ask high-schoolers what they think of when they think of rape, and where they get those images from. What we usually hear is the back-alley stranger-rape scenario and various SVU episodes. And that's what people like Paul Ryan, Todd Akin, and Mike Huckabee are thinking of when they say things like "forcible", "legitimate", or "honest" rape. That scenario, which happens in only about 15% of rapes, is the only thing they consider rape.

So let's talk about the rape I didn't talk about in that post, the rape when I was 20, the one I said was more discrete in my head.

* I was literally grabbed off the street by a stranger and taken to his apartment.
* He had a gun.
* I went to the hospital and had evidence collected. There was a lot of evidence; there was no possible doubt in anyone's mind that a rape had occurred.

An honest, legitimate, forcible rape, in the terminology of the above jackasses.

And, y'know, add to that the fact that I was 20 and looked 15. I was small and delicate. I was blonde and blue-eyed. When people talk about the Model Rape Victim, that is what they are talking about: me at 20 and the bags and boxes of evidence, me giving my statement to the police in a shaky voice and insisting that I needed my dad. Zero ambiguity. Textbook. Perfect.

But I guess not enough.

Because I got pregnant.

So I guess, according to Akin, I guess my rape just wasn't legit enough. I guess the actual scenario that he would describe as rape, the only scenario he would describe as rape, is still not really rape in his eyes, because I did not secrete magical rape-semen-killing vagina-venom.

So yeah.

I know you all know. I know you all know that his statements are bullshit. I know you all know how damaging statements like that can be to someone who's experienced a less damn theatrical rape and is maybe still questioning whether she can call that rape, because the guy was a friend, or whatever.

Legitimate. Honest. Forcible. Fuck you.

I know at least six women who have become pregnant as the result of rape. We all have different stories. But all of us were really raped, whether fucktards like the above would agree or not. Some of these women had abortions, some gave their children up for adoption, some kept the children. But that is six women whom I personally know.

So yeah. I've been quiet on this one because it hits me in different ways than it hits most of y'all, and it hits me in ways I'm not used to talking about, and I have a lot of doubts about hitting the "post" button, but no, this is important shit.

You need to know that you know someone who got pregnant as a result of rape.

And if you tell people who think that doesn't happen that you know someone that it absolutely did happen to, and they ask a shocked "what did she do?", you can say, "she kept going, and she kicks ass."
Comments 
21st-Aug-2012 05:18 pm (UTC)
I read this whole thing.

21st-Aug-2012 05:21 pm (UTC)
I read every word. Every. Damn. Word.

And you DO, in fact, continue to kick ass.
(Deleted comment)
21st-Aug-2012 05:33 pm (UTC)
And tell them I will.
No ass shall remain unkicked.
21st-Aug-2012 05:34 pm (UTC) - in re last line.
Yup.
21st-Aug-2012 05:37 pm (UTC)
I read this whole thing.
21st-Aug-2012 05:42 pm (UTC)
You do kick ass!
21st-Aug-2012 05:56 pm (UTC)
You do kick ass. Yes.
21st-Aug-2012 06:04 pm (UTC)
I read this. Thank you for being so open, and honest, and yes, kick-ass. (I almost mentioned your story in a conversation about said bullshit political statements, but as it wasn't my story AND as even stooping to that sort of anecdotes would have given his argument too much weight. Still. Thank you.
21st-Aug-2012 06:11 pm (UTC)
I read this entire post.

And I'm angry that enough stupid and uneducated people exist in the US (in Congress, even!) that it should be necessary for you to write a post like this.
21st-Aug-2012 06:22 pm (UTC)
I will answer this question Am I legitimate enough for you?, with a quote from MC Hammer:
"Too legit to quit."
21st-Aug-2012 06:23 pm (UTC)
THIS.

You Are Right To Post Because Fuck Silence Really.
21st-Aug-2012 06:32 pm (UTC)
Ditto'd, mimeographed, and handed out to the class.
21st-Aug-2012 06:23 pm (UTC)
You're an awesome, kick-ass person.

Edited at 2012-08-21 06:24 pm (UTC)
21st-Aug-2012 06:44 pm (UTC)
I am going to post a link to this on livejournal and tumblr. Thank you.
21st-Aug-2012 06:57 pm (UTC)
Wow, I feel like sending him this (don't worry; I would not really do that)--I wish thousands of people would send their stories. His words and ideas are so mind-boggling. I wonder if he'd change his tune if someone he knew and cared about became pregnant as a result of rape.
21st-Aug-2012 09:02 pm (UTC)
I doubt it. He is not a member of the reality-based community.
21st-Aug-2012 06:59 pm (UTC)
I read the whole thing.
21st-Aug-2012 07:04 pm (UTC)
I have been fumbling for words since I read his comments. When I read your post I realized I had been randomly looking at LJ, looking for your comments, looking for your voice - the voice that speaks up for so many of us when we cannot find our own.

Thank you for kicking ass.
Thank you for speaking up.
Thank you for giving voice to those without one.

Thank you for being you.

<3
21st-Aug-2012 07:12 pm (UTC)
I read this whole thing.
21st-Aug-2012 07:16 pm (UTC)
My dearest hope is that these fools keep saying this dumb stuff for a few more months. That we all go and vote and they get surprised with how the majority of people do not find that behavior acceptable, that they don't have our support.
21st-Aug-2012 07:37 pm (UTC)
Yes I read the whole thing and I know that you are one
awesome person who can and will kick ass.

I have posted on FB that I know someone that was raped and got pregnant and that she is one awesome person who can and will kick ass.**

-Larry-

** NOTE NO names will be used.
21st-Aug-2012 08:10 pm (UTC)
This is indeed important shit, and it needed saying. Thanks.
21st-Aug-2012 08:31 pm (UTC)
I read this whole post. Thank you for taking the time and energy to share.
21st-Aug-2012 08:48 pm (UTC)
'Song, the other reason I wanted to thank you for this post, is because without it, I don't think I ever would have made this post: http://krysyau.blogspot.com/2012/08/starting-on-hard-mode.html

You are not the only person I know that this happened to, either. A girl I used to go to school with had her son from a gang-rape by six guys in Duke Forest. She told me... I don't know why she told me, but I am glad she did, and I told her so at the time. I don't ever want to be able to pretend this doesn't happen, until and unless, you know... it doesn't anymore.
22nd-Aug-2012 02:40 pm (UTC)
I am so glad I helped... thank you for your post!
21st-Aug-2012 09:01 pm (UTC)
I salute you.
21st-Aug-2012 09:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you for saying this. It's important.

I got pregnant as a result of incest, and didn't bear the child because my parents had enough sense of self-preservation to get me an illegal abortion rather than risk all the ugliness coming out publicly.

*hugs*
21st-Aug-2012 09:14 pm (UTC)
Wow, now Akins would really have to be plugging his ears and singing la-la-la if you confronted him with this reality. . .
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