?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Odin's Day 
15th-Jun-2011 06:59 am
Hearth
One day more! He underestimated The Packening, and will be here very late tonight or early tomorrow.

State of the 'Song
I was up at 3 again. This has accelerated past not-good into actively-dangerous. Especially given that the simple partials have already started popping up. So, y'know, wish me luck, and I'm not driving anywhere.

Link Soup
* Coffeeandink brings us links to a lot of victim-blaming horseshit. Link via asim, who of course has thoughts of his own.
* More sexual assault stuff - this happens way more often than you think it does.
* Book posters! "Hang your favorite book on the wall with the book's text, arranged to depict a memorable scene from the book!"
* In the poly closet. Which makes me want to write a post, when I have time (ha!), about why it was so important for me to come out as poly at work and frankly everywhere.
* Sean Bean defends his date from a catcalling asshole, gets punched in the face and stabbed for it, patches himself up with a first aid kit and orders another drink. Is there a FUCK YEAH SEAN BEAN Tumblr yet?
* Why Marvel and DC should be doing superhero webcomics.

Daily Science
Heart With No Beat Offers Hope Of New Lease On Life.

Plans
Work, then almost certainly afternoon nap. Evening will likely be spent last-minute tidying, knitting, and texting sindrian to track his journey home.
Comments 
15th-Jun-2011 11:13 am (UTC)
I like the idea of not being in the poly closet. I wish I could sit down and tell everyone everything...and for the most part, I have.

Except my mother. She and I have more issues that a few, and well...I'll come out to her eventually.

But at the same time, I do respect my partners wishes on the subject. My girlfriend, especially, has asked that I be careful not to out her. I trust her to do it on her own terms, and for the most part she has.

Except with her parents.

Edited at 2011-06-15 11:14 am (UTC)
15th-Jun-2011 11:19 am (UTC)
**nods** The only place I have to be closeted? Twitter! Adam's boss follows me there, and he doesn't want to have that conversation at work.

Also, feste_sylvain isn't out to his parents and brother, though he's been considering coming out to his brother. sindrian's out to everyone.

My parents are the last people I came out to, because I have issues there too - but a friend of mine died last year, and seeing his wife and his girlfriend both recognized as grieving partners acutely reminded me that if I died without telling my parents, feste_sylvain would be at my funeral having to pretend he didn't love me. Could not deal with that.

But that's me and everyone's lives are different.

15th-Jun-2011 11:42 am (UTC)
I agree with you. I really dislike being closeted, as I hate keeping secrets and I know I'm not a "homewrecker" (yes, I've been referred to as such). I'm waiting for the chance for my girlfriend and boyfriend come here (they live in WA and I am in PA) and meet my family and friends face-to-face. It is something that is important to me, for a variety of reasons.
16th-Jun-2011 05:12 am (UTC)
Good to know re: twitter closet.
15th-Jun-2011 11:18 am (UTC)
re: Sean Bean - that sounds Sharpe. ;)
15th-Jun-2011 12:07 pm (UTC)
*groans*

(Out of jealousy, of course; I should have made that pun.)
15th-Jun-2011 01:19 pm (UTC)
I admit, I was inordinately gleeful to beat you to that punch. :D
15th-Jun-2011 06:06 pm (UTC)
pun-ch
15th-Jun-2011 02:03 pm (UTC)
I hear you, on the coming out at work and everywhere. I did too, and it was such a tremendous relief to me. Stressing about "what will people think????eleventy????whatifthey$bad_consequence????" was actually orders of magnitude worse than just getting it over with and committing to have that conversation like it was no big deal if it came up. (A good number of people, though certainly not all, take their tone from me. So if I'm nonchalant and act like it's not a big deal, they tend to also.) Work totally doesn't care. I said "one of my boyfriends" in a meeting on Monday with our new executive VP and no one batted an eyelash. Win.

My partners not wanting to be open about their feelings for me to the people in their lives? Now that's stressful.
15th-Jun-2011 02:25 pm (UTC) - in which I possibly vent about the closet
*grumble*mutter* I used to be more out of the poly closet than I am now and it drives me batty at times. Both my partners are more conservative about such things than I (mostly for professional reasons) and it drives me batshit. Anytime I hedge about mentioning my relationships or play pronoun games I feel the damage of all the slowly accumulating internalized "I've got a secret" bullshit. And I never *used* to hedge. I came out when I was 20ish. I used to be one of the Poly NYC organizers. It feels like a giant step backwards and now I find myself hedging in places I don't even have to - like in an email to family.

This is bad in all kinds of ways. There are really good reasons (which I suspect you'll get to in your own someday post) - personal and activist - to be OUT. It's like I have a choice of do I live as a coward or do I be a considerate partner?

Possibly this should be my own blog post. :P Sorry for the soapbox.
15th-Jun-2011 02:52 pm (UTC)
I just wanted to pop over and say thank you for linking to my story. It's tough to write something like that out so seeing that it can help foster conversation and solidarity through shared experience and things like that makes the task of dredging those kinds of things up all worthwhile.
15th-Jun-2011 03:03 pm (UTC)
Your post was great, and you were also great in the comments! I wanted to unpack things a little more for my readers, but was timecrunched, and your post is so clear on its own.

I remember any number of times, having that realization that they consider our bodies their property no matter what we say, do, or wear, and how shocking it still is when it happens.
This page was loaded Nov 25th 2017, 8:04 am GMT.