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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Thor's Day 
2nd-Jun-2011 07:31 am
12 days!

Hello to new reader tangledaxon!

State of the 'song
This is a bit complex and vague.

Essentially, I was prepared for my entire life to change dramatically in midJune; I was aware of that oncoming singularity. But the singularity jumped the gun, and I had major life shifts last Monday, Thursday, and Friday. Which resulted in me feeling very emotionally overwhelmed for the first two days of Wiscon! Sunday was easier because I had back-to-back panels all day pretty much. It's easier to refocus when I have panels to be all smart on than when I'm at a concert where the setlist is playing out like a Tarot reading.

Everything is fine, mind you, and two of those three things are more than fine, they're an embarrassment of riches - and that's one of the things that was getting me this weekend, was that it is all so much. I feel like my body is too small to hold all of this in it, and that periodically stole my breath this weekend. Just - this is the month where Everything Changes, and it started early.

Four Stressors
I've referred to having four huge stressors. One of those I got through on Sunday, and you'll hear about that when I do Wiscon wrapup posts. The two intersecting big bads are coming to a head and will be dealt with tomorrow, but we've come to a place where whatever happens will be okay.

The other big stressor is a positive one! sindrian is coming home in 12 days. Home for good. I am... still not talking about the ways our relationship has evolved and grown even in his physical absence. We will figure out what gets talked about when, and things will come out slowly. But it's a huge life change, my kiri moving home for good. Changes the shape of my everything, and my everything is already changing. I've said several times that I don't know what my life will look like by the end of this summer. In some aspects of my life, I think I'm beginning to get an idea. It's all very different, but none of it is bad.

Breathing through the changes.

Link Soup
* Why Wearing Mini-Skirts is a Feminist Issue. No, really, trust me, keep reading.
* Frank Turner's on tour! Who's coming to the Cambridge show November 2 with me?

Daily Science
A notable prevalence of childhood abuse – physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional – in migraine patients has been observed and documented over the last few years. In fact, it has emerged as a significant enough issue for the American Headache Society to devote an entire plenary session to it at its annual scientific conference in Washington this week.

I find this really interesting. I mean, anecdotally, a lot of migraineurs I know are survivors, but I have some major sampling error going on. The plural of anecdote is not data. Still, I'd never considered this, even though long-term childhood abuse has been known to cause brain damage.

The humidity will be less oppressive today - hopefully that means I'll have the energy to get stuff done after work today! The house is a wreck. Plus I have a bunch of tabs open here that need to get dealt with. And that writing thing. No evening plans.
2nd-Jun-2011 12:20 pm (UTC)
Huh. Not to discount the research at all obviously, but I will throw out that I'm a migraine sufferer (although they've been rare lately, which is lovely) who isn't a survivor. Although of course as soon as I say that it occurs to me that some might consider the bullying I went through in sixth grade to count as abuse, so now I don't know.

DYING for your Wiscon report, lady! I need to know how Take Back went this year!
2nd-Jun-2011 02:52 pm (UTC)
Childhood verbal and emotional abuse here, and SSRIs just make me feel worse-- but current neuro is a migraine geek, as was previous, and they opted to work on glutamate and GABA instead.

It takes a lot to give me an episode now. They're smart folks.
2nd-Jun-2011 05:18 pm (UTC)
Om nom GABA.

There can be more glutamate stuff (or on-label indications) already.
2nd-Jun-2011 04:02 pm (UTC)
Although of course as soon as I say that it occurs to me that some might consider the bullying I went through in sixth grade to count as abuse, so now I don't know.

I was about to pop in with saying that I am also not a survivor, but as soon as I was going to say that, I started to remember that I was miserable in childhood due to school. It wasn't bullying so much as just being completely unprepared to be thrust into school, being full of terror day in and out that people/teachers/parents would discover just how not well I was doing there, feeling like my life was constantly held in a stressful balance between just getting by and total failure. I'm a smart person, but school was my hell. It was not designed for someone who is smart in the ways that I am, and I was also way too young when I started, beginning at 4yo instead of 5yo, and just never catching up with my peers until college. I would say my life as a child was full of trauma and fear, but not due to my parents beating me, or verbally abusing me, or sexual abuse, but due to school. So...yeah. Maybe I am a survivor in a way.
2nd-Jun-2011 02:06 pm (UTC)
Hopefully your embarrassment of riches sorts itself out.

What language are you taking kiri from? Context implies you are using the word in a very different form than I know.

I read that miniskirt article and almost had my eyes pop out of my head. "Keep reading" indeed. :)
2nd-Jun-2011 02:07 pm (UTC)
Dasaroi. You?
2nd-Jun-2011 03:05 pm (UTC)

At least I don't have to feel bad about not recognizing it. Should have guessed it might be a Shayara reference, since that's presumably eating your brain. :)

I was thinking Farsi or Japanese of course.
2nd-Jun-2011 02:37 pm (UTC)
Certain pockets of the universe play a small violin.
2nd-Jun-2011 03:25 pm (UTC)
You're one to talk. :P
2nd-Jun-2011 03:46 pm (UTC)
The migraine correlation is fascinating. I note, though, that I've had migraines since I can remember (and my mother says I had them before I can remember, because some of my earliest communication had to do with them). I did, however, have what I call my "three-month-long migraine" in... I think my first or second year of grad school, which would have been the second or third year of my abusive relationship, when the abuse really got rolling well, and when I was forced into grad work I really wasn't suited for by the abusive grad school department. So there's certainly something there.
2nd-Jun-2011 05:21 pm (UTC)
Batshit northeastern weather? Major life change? Jem don't care.

(Yes, that's Randall, and yes, that's official.)
2nd-Jun-2011 06:01 pm (UTC)
Oh my holy crap.
2nd-Jun-2011 08:20 pm (UTC)
Holy shit indeed. I guess the Hub figured out who a significant portion of their audience is?
3rd-Jun-2011 01:41 am (UTC)
Given that they released "Equestria Girls" around the same time (giving it to EqD first, mind)... yeah. Yeah, they have.
3rd-Jun-2011 01:42 am (UTC)
Yeah, I knew about that and it's AWESOME, just didn't know if they would realize it would extend to Jem like that. Well done though!
3rd-Jun-2011 01:54 am (UTC)
(I knew you did; didn't know if shadesong did. ;) )
3rd-Jun-2011 01:58 am (UTC)
I see!
3rd-Jun-2011 01:57 am (UTC)
And it makes sense that they would do that with Jem, since they're running back-to-back during that weekday evening after-dinner slot? But I'm now wondering just how far they'll go with it.

Someone at The Hub is now slapping themselves for not better leveraging the Betty White-on-Pound Puppies factor. I'm sure of it.
3rd-Jun-2011 02:00 am (UTC)
Hahaha, man, they really should have gone for that.
2nd-Jun-2011 08:10 pm (UTC)
Best of luck learning to surf. [grin] I kind of like times when everything's changing -- there's so much possibility. I hope you get through it as well as possible, and enjoy your embarrassment of riches!
2nd-Jun-2011 09:35 pm (UTC)
Migraine sufferer. No abuse.

Re: miniskirts: I trusted you. I kept reading. It was well worth it.
3rd-Jun-2011 12:22 am (UTC)
Hmm. Migraine sufferer and abuse survivor here, but migraines run in my family on both sides and it's difficult to determine cycles of abuse, plus I have other chronic health problems that are definite contributors to my headaches.
3rd-Jun-2011 12:31 am (UTC)
Migraines. Somewhat overwrought childhood. Family history; I've an aunt who gets them worse than I do & her childhood was nicer.
3rd-Jun-2011 02:31 am (UTC)
I have sometimes had visual migraines, though without the serious pain (thank all relevant gods).

Abuse survivor, here.

My mother said she had migraines... but whether or not she actually did is something I doubt; she had serious addiction issues, too, that she never admitted to, and was/is in general a self-aggrandizing liar. And her behavior did not look like migraines to me, looking back.

So- I dunno, for me.
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