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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Friday 
20th-May-2011 07:32 am
Hearth
24 days.

Administration
Happy early birthday to jet_li_wannabe and angelsscream, who advance a year over the weekend!

Hello to new reader banshiecat!

State of the 'Song
Yesterday I was under the weather. Literally. The solid week of miserable weather had me in serious pain, full-body and head.

Three Robaxin at once is too much. ASK ME HOW I KNOW.

I'm a little better today, but still a bit achy and nauseous.

State of the Elayna
Down yesterday with a fever and a stuffy head. Staying home again today. Since Adam's going to be out of town, if this doesn't prove to be one of those 24-hour bugs, my weekend plans may have just shifted to "hang out with sick kid and marathon Gilmore Girls".

State of the Jack
His face is in my faaaaace.

s00j has a video!



Link Soup
* Here is Sady nailing it again.
* This is a damn fine post.
* Scott Weiland of STP has just come out as a rape survivor, and Sugar Ray Leonard has come out as a sexual assault survivor. We're seeing more and more people speak about this, and more and more men. When people ask if I think that the movement's work is really making a difference, I point to stuff like this. Can you even imagine these guys disclosing these things five, ten years ago? Welcome to the tectonic shift.
* What do *you* like in a con?
* Speaking of cons, here's info on the Wiscon POC dinner!
* Man, I do not have time to unpack the layers of class privilege in this article about "push presents". You guys aren't 101 anyway, you can see for yourselves. But: “It’s more and more an expectation of moms these days that they deserve something for bearing the burden for nine months, getting sick, ruining their body,” - pardon? *looks down at her freakin' fantastic body that grew a whole person and is now ornamented with pretty silvery stretch marks* I THINK YOU ARE CONFUSED.

Daily Science
Exoplanet near Gliese 581 star 'could host life'.

Friday Memeage!
Wearing: Black cowlneck and jeans, sparrow knee-high socks.
Reading: Who's Your City? by Richard Florida.
Writing: It has not been a week for that, much to my chagrin.
Knitting: This shawl in watercolory worsted-weight yarn.
Planning: Today, work and maybe nap, maybe writing, depends what the weather does.
Tomorrow: If Elayna's not sick: Stand Tall Against Sexual Violence: Female Fight Fundraiser, then a party, then a sleepover at feste_sylvain's.
Sunday: If Elayna's not sick, baby shower!

You?
Comments 
20th-May-2011 11:54 am (UTC)
Wow, that "push present" article left me slightly nauseated...yes, maybe pregnancy and labor aren't constant happyfuntimes...but really? If the baby isn't enough of a reward for the experience, maybe you shouldn't be having one...
20th-May-2011 01:17 pm (UTC)
Yeah, and oh hai, conspicuous consumption and fetishization.
20th-May-2011 12:13 pm (UTC)
*looks down at her freakin' fantastic body that grew a whole person and is now ornamented with pretty silvery stretch marks*

I love this and need to make a mental note of it. I wish I could have this viewpoint EVERY DAY, that the physical evidence of pregnancy/nursing isn't necessarily a bad thing. (I don't find it at all ugly on people-not-me, but that's sort of my self-image works -- what's sexy on other people is hideous on me, etc.) That article squicks the daylights out of me though. Ew. “I wonder what 17 hours of labor will get me next time?” *puke*

Um, I should specify "physical evidence of pregnancy" ON MY PERSON. Obviously the physical evidence that is the Changeling is another story, and not one that I view as bad or undesirable in any light.

Edited at 2011-05-20 12:46 pm (UTC)
20th-May-2011 01:15 pm (UTC)
Yeah. I mean, I no longer have perky li'l B-cups. I have more malleable D-cups. But I'm at the point where I look in the mirror and I'm like hey, 37 looks pretty damn good. Plus I'm so glad I breast-fed Elayna - I was so freaked out and helpless, having no experience with babies and no clue, that having one thing that only I could do for her really helped tether me. Some of my best memories of that first year include retreating with her for feeding time and just zenning out with my amazing gorgeous baby.

Also, the shimmery stretch marks across my hip look like I was clawed by a MAGICAL TIGER. Rawr.

Also also, after my labor, I would not have given a cardboard fuck about diamonds or a metal sculpture or whatever, I just wanted sleep. I feel like this is not unusual!
(Deleted comment)
20th-May-2011 03:18 pm (UTC)
Also, the shimmery stretch marks across my hip look like I was clawed by a MAGICAL TIGER. Rawr.

I was my full height at 13. In the year or two before that, I grew so quickly, I've got stretch marks on my upper thighs. ... I like the clawed by a magical tiger idea. :)
(Deleted comment)
20th-May-2011 12:16 pm (UTC)
Tell the truth, I haven't actually thought all that much about when I was sexually assaulted.
20th-May-2011 01:15 pm (UTC)
Some people don't... there's no One True Way to process it.
20th-May-2011 01:27 pm (UTC)
Sady rocks, indeed. Hats off to her (and you, always).
20th-May-2011 01:48 pm (UTC) - re: push presents
My mother tells the story that, when the first child came along (it was 1963 and they couldn't predict the gender), they still didn't have a kitchen table and chairs. It just wasn't important for a couple without a baby and my parents were not well-off. While Mom was recuperating in the hospital, she felt a bit disappointed she had not presented her hubby with a boy and kept asking if he was okay with it. Now, my Dad is the type that adores all 3 of his girls, so he kept reassuring her but the question was always there. Until she came home with the newborn. Dad had gone and purchased a kitchen table and chairs, the type with the formica top and steel edging, and those classic vinyl-and-aluminum chairs. Only, he got them in pink. That's when Mom knew just how "okay" he was.
Point being, they needed the table anyway. I think this trend you're talking about is, yes, just another opportunity for uppercrust with feelings of entitlement to get yet more goodies. Women know childbearing and labor are difficult. If you don't want to go through it, don't. It shouldn't be a point of leverage to be showered with gifts.
20th-May-2011 01:51 pm (UTC)
That video is awesome. And so are those gloves s00j is wearing :) My boyfriend keeps trying to figure out which version of D&D it is, if any. Not being a D&Der, I have no clue.

Wearing: Blue t-shirt with a panda and a snowflake on it, hip-hugger jeans, my Oh My Gods! sweatshirt, the usual jewelry and my rune necklace.
Reading: almost finished with Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, and just started Joss Whedon's Fray
Writing: working on 2 different reports for work. Yay.
Planning: I am moving in with my boyfriend by the end of the month! This has been consuming much of my life lately. This weekend will be packing, packing, more packing, and moving some stuff (maybe furniture, if I can borrow a certain person with a truck).
20th-May-2011 02:26 pm (UTC)
I note, as a complete nonsequitur, that you are responsible for the title of my latest episode of my web serial. Otherwise, I would never have been familiar with the most excellent phrase "spooky action at a distance".
20th-May-2011 10:21 pm (UTC)
w00t! Isn't it great?
20th-May-2011 03:57 pm (UTC)
awww thank you :) looking forward to seeing you at Wiscon.
20th-May-2011 05:09 pm (UTC)
<3 the vid. All my gamer friends need to see this :-)
20th-May-2011 07:01 pm (UTC)
Were I to have a child (which I am not), I would totally be fine if I got a small, thoughtful gift since I've seen baby/mother situations where the mother gets wholly left out, everyone talks about the baby as if sie magically did come out of a cabbage, kind of forgetting she's there..
it's why at the office baby shower I chipped in for my co workers gift but also gave her some Lush stuff for her.

But diamonds?! I can't get the idea of feeling entitled to a gift like that. It's also kind of squicky to me in a different way because it seems like every marker of acceptable, socially ok woman things to do (engagement, marriage and now pregnancy/birth) is cause to get valuable gifts.
It's like there are even fewer markers for women who make different choices; hell, I already feel kind of left out that my hetmarried sister got a Kitchen Aid just for getting married (I never said this was fair or appropriate) so yeah-class, status, jewels et al.

(also if you want to see some unintentionally hilarious privilege-birth stuff, in The Business of Being Born, there is a total Spinal Tap moment where a woman is talking about how she's not like those (sic) "New York City mommies who get a tummy tuck and schedule their birth" and then there is footage of her getting made up by a pro, all nude and in black patent pumps with what looks like a black Christmas wreath on her head getting professional "I am so gorgeous!" pregnancy photos taken. The sad thing is that's not the only time in the film, but dude that wreath is hilarious.)
20th-May-2011 10:29 pm (UTC)
Oh, the KitchenAid. This reminds me of mild drama over our wedding gifts...

We registered for a bunch of stuff. One of Adam's cousins, who happens to be exceedingly wealthy, got us the KitchenAid and a covered cake plate. And Adam's mother flipped her lid, man. Adam's mom is a very nice woman! Very nice, very privileged woman, who felt that said cousin should have given us a lot more stuff. Never mind that he gave us the most expensive thing on our registry. And the cake plate. The cake plate was driving her crazy. She kept being incredulous that he is so rich and he got us, yes, the expensive thing, but also the cake plate, which was like $20.

I'm pretty sure Adam still remembers me repeating in an unnaturally calm voice, over and over, that I wanted the cake plate, and that is why I registered for it. I bake. The cake plate is useful to me. I WILL USE THE CAKE PLATE.

And I think I have used that cake plate more than I have used any other wedding gift. Especially because no one gave us the cookie sheets and loaf pans I'd registered for. Which was slightly maddening. We got a ton of expensive stuff that we rarely use, but no baking supplies, which I use frequently, because they were inexpensive and thus not a status symbol.

(Favorite cake to put on that plate: chocolate bourbon espresso cake with a candy-sweet glaze. Looks as delicious as it tastes.)
20th-May-2011 10:38 pm (UTC)
OMFG CAKE.
Sorry, got distracted for a minute:) That sounds thoughtful and nice, really. I can't believe nobody gave you cookie sheets et al!
20th-May-2011 10:48 pm (UTC)
I know, right? I was exceedingly wroth. (But only in the way that involves me muttering and Casting Dark Looks at Adam in a way designed to amuse him.)
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