So yeah, I just came out to my mom.
That just happened.
I had to; I've been meaning to for ages, but, y'know, scary. I was sitting at Aries's wake, though, and I was thinking "god, I am so glad they were out, because how awful would it be if hammercock
had to pretend that Aries was just a friend?"
And I looked over at feste_sylvain
, and at yendi
, and said "Yeah. I have to come out to my parents. This week."
And. So. I did.
Surprisingly, it did not go poorly. I've sort of been playing the long game with this one - I've been introducing them to poly friends for years. The concept had been introduced. They've met feste_sylvain
, and they know Feste & Tamidon's elder daughter is Elayna's best friend.
Unbeknownst to me, they also totally
knew Feste and I were dating.
Elayna let it slip, of course. Which I'm fine with. I specifically never told her to keep this to herself. I grew up forced to keep massive secrets from everyone in my life, and I think that's a horribly toxic thing to do to a child, to tell them they can't talk about big things in their lives. I was not going to do that.
So they had an idea. Which is good - it means they've been observing the lot of us with that in mind and seeing that we work
Mom's big question was whether Adam was okay with this.
Me: "Mom, I'm a hell of a lot of woman. Adam is glad
to hand me off to someone else every so often."
Her hearing him crack up in the background helped.
So yeah. Dear Mom, I've been dating someone outside my marriage for three years. And everyone is happy. The men like each other to the point where they hang out without me sometimes. The kids are biffles. (THIS IS A WORD. Ask your teenager.) I told Mom part of why Feste and I work is because we have the same priorities: Kids first. Spouses second. Then everything else.
It is... okay, I think.
Brave little toaster, I am.