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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
So yeah, I just came out to my mom. ...so yeah. That just happened.… 
6th-Aug-2010 09:03 pm
Hearth
So yeah, I just came out to my mom.

...so yeah.

That just happened.

I had to; I've been meaning to for ages, but, y'know, scary. I was sitting at Aries's wake, though, and I was thinking "god, I am so glad they were out, because how awful would it be if hammercock had to pretend that Aries was just a friend?"

And I looked over at feste_sylvain, and at yendi, and said "Yeah. I have to come out to my parents. This week."

And. So. I did.

Surprisingly, it did not go poorly. I've sort of been playing the long game with this one - I've been introducing them to poly friends for years. The concept had been introduced. They've met feste_sylvain and tamidon, and they know Feste & Tamidon's elder daughter is Elayna's best friend.

Unbeknownst to me, they also totally knew Feste and I were dating.

Elayna let it slip, of course. Which I'm fine with. I specifically never told her to keep this to herself. I grew up forced to keep massive secrets from everyone in my life, and I think that's a horribly toxic thing to do to a child, to tell them they can't talk about big things in their lives. I was not going to do that.

So they had an idea. Which is good - it means they've been observing the lot of us with that in mind and seeing that we work.

Mom's big question was whether Adam was okay with this.

Me: "Mom, I'm a hell of a lot of woman. Adam is glad to hand me off to someone else every so often."

Her hearing him crack up in the background helped.

So yeah. Dear Mom, I've been dating someone outside my marriage for three years. And everyone is happy. The men like each other to the point where they hang out without me sometimes. The kids are biffles. (THIS IS A WORD. Ask your teenager.) I told Mom part of why Feste and I work is because we have the same priorities: Kids first. Spouses second. Then everything else.

So yeah.

That happened.

It is... okay, I think.

Brave little toaster, I am.
Comments 
7th-Aug-2010 01:15 am (UTC)
This is amazing. Good for you!
7th-Aug-2010 01:16 am (UTC)
Yay, 'song! Go you! :D

I'm glad it went so smoothly, hon.
7th-Aug-2010 01:16 am (UTC)
Good on ya!
(Deleted comment)
7th-Aug-2010 01:20 am (UTC) - because everyone needs a rainbow when they come out


(pretend it's gluten-free and soy-free)
7th-Aug-2010 01:33 am (UTC) - Re: because everyone needs a rainbow when they come out
Must have this cake!
7th-Aug-2010 01:21 am (UTC)
Mazel!
7th-Aug-2010 01:21 am (UTC)
That's amazing!
7th-Aug-2010 01:29 am (UTC)
Good. In my experience, if the initial conversation goes well things are usually pretty good as time goes by. But do watch for doubts to come up.
7th-Aug-2010 01:32 am (UTC)
SHIT JUST GOT REAL.

Sorry, I watched that clip again the other day and have been waiting to pronounce something newly real ever since. For serious though, WOW AND YAY AND OMG.

I'm sorry about the reason that made you choose *now*, but so glad it's not a thing you have to worry about anymore.
7th-Aug-2010 01:43 am (UTC)
Sorry, I watched that clip again the other day and have been waiting to pronounce something newly real ever since.

Aren't we all always waiting to pronounce shit newly real? COSMIC.

Oh, btw, Bitchcakes cost us $200. Argh.
7th-Aug-2010 01:37 am (UTC)
Congratulations!
7th-Aug-2010 01:41 am (UTC)
Yay for brave 'Song!

I am so happy to hear this went well.

Unfortunately, you are the first happy ending of this type that I have heard in the past few weeks.

*hugs*
7th-Aug-2010 02:06 am (UTC) - Totally awesome...
I'm glad that it went well for you.
(Deleted comment)
7th-Aug-2010 02:21 am (UTC)
Glad things went okay. Also:

Mom's big question was whether Adam was okay with this.

I remember that being Elayna's main question when she found out, too.
7th-Aug-2010 02:28 am (UTC)
Yes, you are brave. And I'm happy your mom was cool about it.
7th-Aug-2010 02:54 am (UTC) - Mazal tov
You already know my weirdness around that this week.
7th-Aug-2010 03:09 am (UTC)
Yay! Congratulations! I don't know whether there's a sea change in relationships or just something very personal I'm noticing but there seem to be more and more people around me who don't adhere to the traditional nuclear family. I like that.

And thank you for all the laughs you bring. I don't comment much but you've inspired me from things like taking my family to the Melting Pot when we were just visiting the US to trying a gluten free diet (which allowed me to drop all my GI medication!)

Thanks 'Song :)
9th-Aug-2010 01:46 pm (UTC)
<3 <3 Thank you so much for that!
7th-Aug-2010 03:13 am (UTC)
Congratulations, and I'm glad that went well. I kinda had a feeling that Elayna would (have) let that slip at some point.
7th-Aug-2010 03:15 am (UTC)
Girl, you rawk.
7th-Aug-2010 03:22 am (UTC)
\o/
(Deleted comment)
7th-Aug-2010 03:28 am (UTC)
Way to go you!

It's been something that's been on my mind off and on, but I don't think I'm even close to ready.
7th-Aug-2010 03:35 am (UTC)
Congratulations!
7th-Aug-2010 04:35 am (UTC)
I'm so proud of you, 'song. :) And so happy it went well.

This part made me laugh:

Me: "Mom, I'm a hell of a lot of woman. Adam is glad to hand me off to someone else every so often.
7th-Aug-2010 04:48 am (UTC)
Good heavens . . . has it really been three years already? *blink*
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