You did not tell Kai how you almost got back once.
The club scene led to the BDSM scene, and you found new ways to cross over. A hand at your throat, cutting off your breath, sending you falling between; you could almost
get there, feel yourself pulling through, but every time you faded back, gasping.
It was the whip that led you back all the way. Endorphins shoving you over the edge. Breathing through the pain, each lash writing lines of liquid silver on your back, and finally emerging into euphoria -
And seeing home. Actually seeing
it. Your cottage, right there, and your horse, and the whole gorgeous kingdom laid before you, and you laughed, and your tears were from joy, not pain…
…and then you were back, hanging from your bonds, sweaty rag-doll crying because it almost
You pushed harder and harder, further and further, until no one in that crowd would do anything with you anymore. It was too much. Unsafe. Disturbing.
And so you went on alone. Alone, but always with that nuclear option in your back pocket, always in the back of your mind, that absolute knowledge - that if you could not find your way back, Jason could take you. If ever you had absolutely nothing left, you could show up on his doorstep.
You remember everything about Jason. You forget things about his father - forget and don't try to remember. But you remember everything about Jason, every crystalline point, every moment of fury and every moment of utter blankness and everything in between. You remember the things he did, the things any sane person would recoil from doing.
And you did not want them and you do not want them but you want home
, you want home so badly that it just fractures you sometimes; you want to not feel lost, you want to feel safe. You want to go home and never come back.
That is what you always wanted.
And Kai offers it. And you remember her, too, and think that if anyone could match Jason's cold brutality, it would be Kai.
You had just begun to accept that Jason was gone and that you had to stay in this world. And now you are not as certain as you were. Not at all.Recycled leather flogger
, with decorated hardwood handle and brass accents! This is a softer, lighter flogger - it will not do what Ash wants it too, but would be lots of fun for lighter play.
If you want a flogger that's a little rougher, or even one just like this but in a different color, check out the custom flogger
! This listing is for a a custom flogger that ShadowEdge will make. Most of her materials are recycled (leather, rubber, and wood). If you have allergies of any kind, please let her know and she'll do her best to accommodate them. You may choose one of two options: 1) give her a general idea of your aesthetic taste and desired sensation, and she'll whip (pun intended) up something and mail it to you. 2) choose one option from each of the following lists, and she'll assemble it for you and send it off. Also, give her a general color or theme.
Materials: leather, suede, recycled rubber (from inner tubes), hemp-coated jute.
Handle: polished wood, painted wood, decorated wood.
Nail color: silver, gold, antique brass, black.
Sensation: thud (light), thud (heavy), sting (light), sting (like whoa), or a bit of both.Click here to bid on auction items!
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Current total: $630.
Team Venture shoutout to spoothbrush
, blogathonning in New York!