?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Friday! 
11th-Jun-2010 07:14 am
Hearth
Elayna quote of the day: "I am a thinly-disguised pirate." Yes, dear. Yes, you are. And there is a complicated narrative about this ensemble.

Administration
Happy early birthday to hughcasey, ldy, off_coloratura, and roomette, who all advance a year over the weekend!

Medical
Just exhausted; Boston office is more of a commute, and I've been working longer.

This.


Volunteer Training
Well, it's Friday, and nothing's blown up, and all of the trainers actually showed up - on time - and got great reviews, and the new volunteers seem happy and engaged (although yesterday after I left they had their childhood SA training)...

I think I win?

Long as everything goes well today, and it ought to. Graduation certificates are being brought in, cake is ordered, CDs are burned and in my bag, I just need to order lunch and get the new kids in our database between transitioning them between speakers and generally monitoring them, and yeah. By this afternoon, they're good.

Newer readers, I've volunteered at BARCC for three years, just started working there in December - right in the middle of the org cycle for the January training. This is the first training I've planned from the ground up and been onsite to help facilitate. This is the first time I've done a lot of this stuff. And... no real problems yet, knock wood. This could potentially be our first problem-free training. (Hey, it has a lot of people and a lot of moving parts. The Fuckup Fairy loves stuff like that.)

Other Aspects of This Week
Dear god this has been a lot of "don't say what you think," and that makes me crazy. There was an interpersonal conflict that I'd thought was done and in its grave ages ago, but the person involved apparently cannot be a grownup and was whining all over and needed Closure, so I had to sit and give them a polite version of "what you did felt an awful lot like harassment and it made me disinclined to acquiesce to your request", and they gave their fictional version of events and I um-hummed and gave them the precious Closure, because correcting the narrative would have just dragged this out longer, and the person is not capable of hearing stuff.

Speaking of not capable of hearing stuff, I had to block someone from my Facebook for the first time yesterday. That was fun. Apparently I'm not allowed to not be okay with random strangers grabbing their hands on me. No, this person was very invested in me not having bodily autonomy. Mark said "He won't hear you, just block him." So. Yes. Because when I'm surrounded by DPH paperwork and running a training, I don't really have the energy to 101 people to the point of "do not grab random women by the hips and push them into whatever position you want them to be in". That's not even 101. That's pretty remedial. But yeah, I was polite on that when I wanted desperately not to be.

Speaking of Bodily Autonomy
Since January 1, I have been partially covering my hair. I have... many and varied reasons why. Part of it is that my hair, half of which fell out with the weight crash last year, looks fuller with stuff in it. Part of it is that it's a subconscious barrier to people just reaching out and grabbing my hair (which is something I find really not cool if you're over 2). Part of it, though I'm not Orthodox Jewish and am mostly just culturally Jewish, is that since I'm not okay with most people playing with my hair, it makes sense to take advantage of that line in the sand and say "general public, my hair is not for you; it is for my partners and my close friends."

There's a lot more to unpack about that later. But. Has it worked? It's not 100% effective, but it's more effective than not having anything in my hair; people don't want to mess up the feathers, et cetera. Also it allows me more opportunities to be a magpie. So.

Friday Memeage!
Wearing: Plain black v-neck and jeans; haven't decided on jewelry and hair stuff yet.
Reading: The Hidden Sense: Synesthesia in Art and Science, by Cretien van Campen, and Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert.
Writing: I had an OHHHH moment re: "Maxfield Parrish Blue(s)". Need to work that in.
Knitting: I am officially more than 2/3 done with saraphina_marie's baby blanket! But I'm picking the shawl back up today because it's smaller - or maybe starting the scarf for Blogathon, because it has shorter rows and is therefore more bus-friendly. I have a lot to tote back to the Cambridge office for Monday, and the blanket takes up most of my bag. I need to photograph my newly-blocked shawls!
Planning:
Today is volunteer training. Tonight I do not know. Probably house stuff.
Saturday I'm tabling for BARCC at Boston Pride! If you're there between 11-1, come see me! Free hugs!
Sunday I need to take Elayna shopping for clothes and stuff for Israel and Explo. Sunday night, I am considering Bent Wit Cabaret.

You?
Comments 
11th-Jun-2010 11:34 am (UTC) - Re: XKCD alt-text
"I've had it with these mother****ing snakes in my mother****ing tornado!"
11th-Jun-2010 11:59 am (UTC)
Wearing: Black sleeveless shirt and jeans; usual jewelry of class ring, plain band and Mojlnir
Reading: Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, N.K. Jemisin
Knitting: Nothing right now. I've been carrying around the yarn that [profile] mitrian gave me but no inspiration has struck as to WHAT to make with it.
Planning:
Today is work, then Commencement weekend kickoff party at LP Campus. I wonder what the rain plan is? Also Fair Weather Friday at Ahn & Erin's.
Saturday is Midsommar Fest in the neighborhood and picking up the rental car
Sunday is COMMENCEMENT WOO HOO! At o'mfg in the AM, then a nap, return car and noms at my favorite Ethiopian place, Ethiopian Diamond.
11th-Jun-2010 08:02 pm (UTC)
Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, N.K. Jemisin

*Loved* that.
11th-Jun-2010 12:59 pm (UTC)
Part of it is that it's a subconscious barrier to people just reaching out and grabbing my hair

This just appalls me every time I hear a woman talk about it. NOT. OKAY. Were they people raised in BARNS? In the WILDERNESS? By particularly ill-mannered coy-dogs? Jesus Buddha in a disco.
11th-Jun-2010 08:02 pm (UTC)
Jesus Buddha in a disco.

I am going to use the hell out of that line.
11th-Jun-2010 01:25 pm (UTC)
I had to block someone from my Facebook for the first time yesterday. That was fun. Apparently I'm not allowed to not be okay with random strangers grabbing their hands on me.

Oh, the poor dear. Not having unfettered access to any parts of you he desires, just because he desires them. Shall I prep the fainting couch?

Seriously. Some of these entitled buttwipes make me want to puke up snakes.
11th-Jun-2010 01:41 pm (UTC)
Sat down with the Princelings and typed out What We Want To Do This Summer.

Which includes scientific experiments, art, learning new languages, boating, astrology, astronomy, mythology and a trip to the cheese factory.
11th-Jun-2010 02:43 pm (UTC)
Excepting the cheese factory (due to daughter's allergy), sounds like my summer plans! LOL
We're going to be living aboard a sailboat in a few weeks.

"And now, Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure."
~Albus Dumbledore~
11th-Jun-2010 05:30 pm (UTC)
Living in a sailboat?

That's my seven year plan. First I have to build it. JEALOUS.
11th-Jun-2010 05:49 pm (UTC) - on Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals
Terrified, but elated.
This was our five-year plan. Originally, we intended to wait until our daughter graduated, but then realized that we could homeschool the kids while we sail.

So, our new Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal, as Janna Cause Esarey puts it, is to travel to Japan. By the time we become proficient enough for transoceanic voyages, our daughter will have learned enough Japanese to be able to translate for us. LOL
12th-Jun-2010 02:09 pm (UTC)
Build it?
Now I'm jealous.

Back in 2002, my dream was to live aboard a 40 foot steel hull gaff rigged schooner.
11th-Jun-2010 01:53 pm (UTC)
This.

YES. Very EMPHATICALLY YES. =D

Man, what is it with people and a severe lack of personal boundaries? They grab your hair?!?!?!?! Geez!!
11th-Jun-2010 06:21 pm (UTC)
This happens to me very occasionally, because I have boing-boing curls.

I'm willing to bet that it happens more often to 'song because she's four inches shorter than I am. I, while short, am a fairly average size for an adult woman, and thus I have whatever limited rights to bodily autonomy that adult women are perceived to have. 'song is of a size which registers to many people as that of a child, and children are generally perceived to have even less bodily autonomy than adult women.

Even if, on a conscious level, the grabber knows that 'song is an adult (although I'd be amazed if most casual observers ever guessed older than 26), the height differential makes them act as if it's okay to get in her space the way they would in a child's.

It's not okay when they do it to children, either, but it's culturally COMMON.
11th-Jun-2010 06:57 pm (UTC)
Similar to walking up to a pregnant woman and putting their hands on her stomach. Gah!

Yeah, it amazes me just how often complete strangers will walk up and touch other peoples' babies. To me, that's just insane.
11th-Jun-2010 09:39 pm (UTC)
Random thoughts:

- I noticed the kid thing when I went back to my homestate for Grandpa's funeral. All the little cousins, just about everybody felt free to scoop up and tickle or tease or ruffle their hair. And I started recalling how my uncles would tickle me even after I screamed at them to stop. I know that often, we grab kids to keep them from doing dangerous things, and this tends to lower barriers in people's minds, but I think folks need to learn that kids have bodily autonomy too.

- As a kid, people used to touch my hair ALL THE TIME. (It's naturally red.) As an adult, it gets touched much less.

- I do dislike being steered or patted or tapped by perfect strangers. People I know have slightly more latitude, but still....
11th-Jun-2010 02:06 pm (UTC)
Wearing: jeans and a dark grey ringer t-shirt that says "Definitely not listening." I look like a sullen teenager, which I think is hilarious.
Reading: Cordelia's Honor by Lois McMaster Bujold
Planning:
- Today: work until 5:30, maybe a stop at Target, then chilling at home.
- Tomorrow: my friend Shannon and I, and possibly others, will be watching the Capital Pride parade. Then we'll be off to Spellbound (a local club).
- Sunday: dunno yet...I think I'm mostly going to relax.
11th-Jun-2010 02:06 pm (UTC)
You make an exceptional magpie. I highly support Things In Song's Hair (and the coresponding reduction in stupidity).

Congrats on the successful training session. Here's hoping for a restful weekend, since it seems your candle has been burning at all eight ends for quite some time. (virtual non-body invasive hugs)

11th-Jun-2010 08:00 pm (UTC)
My candle is surrounded by flamethrowers!
11th-Jun-2010 02:11 pm (UTC)
Can we extend bodily autonomy to auditory autonomy at well? I finally passed the line into crazy new yorker when a subway preacher with a megaphone like voice INTERRRUPTED MY READING (a Jim Butcher Codex Alera novel, SO GOOD, and no, not a re-reading). After 3 minutes of his droning on about jesus and going to hell, I looked up and screamed "Does this LOOK like a church?" Then after having zero effect (probably a good thing), I got off the train and waited for the next. 'cause this is probably not the safest thing a person could do. There's all sorts of crazy in the city and some are even violent.

Yeah, random.

Also, yes, XKCD = awesome!
11th-Jun-2010 02:36 pm (UTC)
*clips and frames today's XKCD*
11th-Jun-2010 02:57 pm (UTC)
complicated narrative: Yes, I bet there is.

comic: quite fitting for the conversation my husband and I just had

volunteer work: Here's to keeping the Fuck-up Fairy at bay.

personal autonomy: Just a quick thank-you, on behalf of Bryanna, who's read your posts on "body ownership". You've helped her come forward and draw lines in the sand about acceptable touching, and it's made such a difference. She's much more comfortable in her own skin these days, and more vocal about what she welcomes and tolerates.

hair: I like the magpie look on you. <3



11th-Jun-2010 05:45 pm (UTC)
I am a thinly-disguised pirate...

AWESOME!!
11th-Jun-2010 07:59 pm (UTC)
This is what every day is like around here. :)
11th-Jun-2010 09:08 pm (UTC)
That's why I like days around there. :)
11th-Jun-2010 08:04 pm (UTC)
I like the idea of hair-covering as a signal to people not to go where they're not invited.
11th-Jun-2010 11:23 pm (UTC)
Pretty much same old same old here.. except for my muse finally showed up after being AWOL for months [Seriously, my muse has to be an ADHD Hippy gypsy!]

So, I'm writing plot-free descriptive exercises, describing a hi-tech hippy eco-utopia valley. *shrugs* it seems popular even if it isn't deathless prose.
12th-Jun-2010 02:22 am (UTC)
The person you blocked is someone I know from a mailing list, and he tends to be pretty clupervious in matters of race and gender. He also seems to have this notion that people who block or killfile him are doing so because they are "afraid" to engage with his ideas, rather than that they may have just decided that they're not getting anything out of exchanges with him and don't wish any further exchange whatsoever. So yeah, he wouldn't hear you.

(And yet, oddly enough, he's actually not the person I find most annoying on that list. I realize that this is not exactly an endorsement of the list.)
12th-Jun-2010 12:23 pm (UTC)
Oh, did he kvetch to you too? I know he did to Mark. (And was shocked to find that Mark was the one who'd told me to block him.)
12th-Jun-2010 08:41 pm (UTC)
Not to me directly, no. He mentioned in FB that "someone named [your name] blocked me after I politely asked a question" or something like that. There were a few comments by others afterward; I just looked to see if there was more discussion, but the wall post seems to be deleted now. Then I saw your post and put two and two together. I kind of wish I'd actually seen the exchange (as well as whatever led him to delete his post), but I can well imagine how it went.

The thing I find kind of funny about his reaction to the blocking is that the fact that you don't owe him your time, attention, or interaction is pretty much the basis of remedial/101. The rest is commentary. And he can't see it.
12th-Jun-2010 10:42 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
Yeah, there was no polite or question there, just a lot of ad hominem attacks and really shaky logic, all delivered in a condescending and aggressive manner. The bit I mention here was only part of it.

And I'm an educator, so my instinct is to educate - and I did start out trying! - but I quickly realized (and Mark confirmed) that he did not want a rational conversation. And it's my job to keep on with that conversation in a high school workshop or at a tabling or on the phone at work, but dealing with that on my personal Facebook on my time is actually not my job and I'm allowed to tap out.

Funny thing is that he's in no way blocked from commenting on the BARCC blog post he's objecting to. The fact that he hasn't commented there, but only posted his objections to the awful prudish (heh) writer on her Facebook wall, tells me he's less interested in actually engaging on the topic and more interested in just being a dick. (His correspondence with Mark on the topic is hilarious; maybe that's what led him to delete his post? Don't know.) If he *did* comment on the post itself, I'd continue the discussion - but so would my co-blogger, I'm sure, and probably some other pretty educated people, and it does not look like that's what he's interested in. (Also, I have another person disputing me on my Facebook post about the blog post, who is also Not Getting It, but I haven't blocked him because he's not being aggressive or attacking. I am totally up to conversations that aren't attacks.)

I have such tangly feelings about 101. When this is your work and your volunteer gig and your personal, as they say, is political, it can be hard to draw that line and say "it's not always my job to educate you" - especially when you have more background on the topic than most other people in the community. But I have to be able to declare times and spaces when I am not going to be talking about rape and rape culture, especially on the sub-101 level. (Wiscon was a relief, because everyone in the room had *had* their 101, and I could move on to advanced topics!)

I ramble. Hi. But yeah, even with this sort of thing, the job is so worth it; I had several people who'd used BARCC services in the past approach me at Pride today to tell me what a profound difference BARCC had made in their lives. One, who said he wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for BARCC, hugged me - which was fine because he asked first. :)
12th-Jun-2010 10:43 pm (UTC)
Damn, got logged out - previous ramble is me, obviously.
12th-Jun-2010 01:01 pm (UTC) - xkcd
Well, that pretty much was my conversation with Hu a few weeks ago. And... Hu and I are acting on it. I need to print that strip and pin it up as a reminder.
13th-Jun-2010 03:59 am (UTC)
Ah man. . .I couldn't get to your table till your shift was over.
This page was loaded Aug 23rd 2017, 5:22 pm GMT.