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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Wow. Okay. 
12th-Jan-2010 12:28 pm
Figuring shit out
I am actually triggered by this.

Because hey. I was incapacitated. And a man disregarded what I said about my body, did not do what I had consented to, and did something else to my body instead, without my consent.

So, y'know, no fucking wonder.

Talked to my volunteer coordinator a bit, and she pointed out the fact that I went right to "I should have listened to my instinct about this doctor", and she's right - I'd tell anyone else that it isn't their fault and they shouldn't blame themselves. Because it isn't. And I shouldn't.

So yeah. I am feel pretty damn violated right now.
Comments 
12th-Jan-2010 05:35 pm (UTC)
You are quite justified in feeling that way! But even if it hadn't been a violation, it caused you pain for NO REASON. Doctors are not supposed to do that, dammit.

(Edited to add the protective mama tiger.)

Edited at 2010-01-12 05:35 pm (UTC)
12th-Jan-2010 05:40 pm (UTC)
maybe you should have listened to your instincts. Hindsight is always 20:20 and all....BUT he is a professional with peoples lives in his hands every day. He should not be fucking things like that up.

ALL it takes is to properly read the consent forms.

Getting the procedure wrong is his fault, and not at all yours.
12th-Jan-2010 05:41 pm (UTC)
Get on the phone right now to his office. It could be that his receptionist/nurse is clueless, and didn't find in your chart what she meant to find. I had that issue with my own doctor, his nurses couldn't find my results and thought that my work had never been done, when it was and they were clueless.

Make very sure of what test he did or did not do. Tell them that you will hold NOW until he gets on the phone, because if he screwed up you are taking this to the hospital board NOW, and you want answers from him. No more "he'll call you back".

And then if he fucked up, take that righteous rage and the suggestions in your first posting about this, and go kick his ass six ways to Sunday.

(A teeny voice inside my head is now terrified of my own surgery upcoming in February...)
12th-Jan-2010 05:45 pm (UTC)
What jarien said.
12th-Jan-2010 06:08 pm (UTC)
What coffeehouse said.
12th-Jan-2010 08:45 pm (UTC)
What lightcastle said.
12th-Jan-2010 08:47 pm (UTC)
What foxipher said.
12th-Jan-2010 08:48 pm (UTC)
^ what they all said!
15th-Jan-2010 10:28 pm (UTC)
^ This. Also, *hugs* if you would like them but not if you wouldn't.
12th-Jan-2010 05:52 pm (UTC)
*nod* And if he did screw up - his office *needs* to know.

Doctor's offices have human beings in their rooms, and sometimes I think they forget that. Some don't. Some are absolutely amazing wonderful offices that do credit to their profession - some clinics, offices, and "professionals", however...ungh.

*lots of hugs* You are absolutely right to feel this way.

When I felt similarly after my mammogram last year? The only way I felt better afterwards was to actually do something about it. I made choices, got on the phone, explained *why* I felt violated, I took the power back into my hands.
12th-Jan-2010 05:58 pm (UTC)
This.
12th-Jan-2010 05:47 pm (UTC)
I am having a hard time being articulate; what I am instead is very, very angry. This is very wrong; knowing that, mistakes do happen, what happens now is how they handle it. I don't know if they're going to grasp the monumental amount of courage it took to to willingly self-harm yourself for a month for this test, and for what?

If there is a way I may be of help, let me know.
12th-Jan-2010 05:51 pm (UTC)
Does the doctor work out of a hospital (or with one for your original test)? If so, contact the hospital and ask to speak to the patient advocate. Discuss what happened. They can provide you options and support in getting what you need, from straightening out a nurse who is confused by the file to pursuing a complaint against a doctor who may have made a mistake that made you live in pain for a month.

Like anyone who has been subjected to something traumatic, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS ALONE. Even if he's in private practice, he's not your primary doctor. You can always contact your primary doctor and make a 15 min consultation appt where you discuss with him/her what your next steps are. Physicians have a hard time taking complaints from patients...they get a lot, and for most people 90% of them are lack of experience by the patient. The other 10% involves everything from simple mistakes to actual malpractice; but because the statistics are with them, medical practitioners usually chalk EVERYTHING up to that 90%. As a result, getting an advocate that speaks the language can reduce an enormous amount of the issues involved with resolving a medical matter.

May I recommend, btw, that if you go to see him again, don't go alone. Not that I'm concerned he'll do anything untoward, but frequently as a patient, bringing someone not so close to the issue with me has caused the medical professional to actually LISTEN to my husband, when they were sort of trained to tune me out (due to that 90% problem).
12th-Jan-2010 08:12 pm (UTC)
Yes, patient advocates are awesome. I had a patient advocate save my entire day at Cook Co. Hospital once when I was in tears with a small, hungry, tired child who just wanted to go home.

Want to punch that doctor.
12th-Jan-2010 06:03 pm (UTC)
You've got a lot of good advice here, so I don't need to repeat what everyone has said. My own personal experience has been more of miscommunication within the Dr's office than anything else, but then, except for an allergist who almost killed me 20 years ago, I've had good luck with Drs.

So go find out what really did happen, and then raise all hell if it was wrong.
12th-Jan-2010 06:28 pm (UTC)
No friggin' kidding.

Edited at 2010-01-12 06:29 pm (UTC)
12th-Jan-2010 06:43 pm (UTC)
I know *exactly* what you mean. And it makes me so very angry. For you, for me, for everyone who has to deal with this shit.

Sending you love, and strength, and I will have a huge hug for you on Friday if you are hugable then.
12th-Jan-2010 07:30 pm (UTC)
I don't blame you at all. I would feel the same way in the same situation.
12th-Jan-2010 07:35 pm (UTC)
Of course you're feeling violated. That's 'cause you were violated.
12th-Jan-2010 08:04 pm (UTC)
What they said. Raise hell -- one of a doctor's responsibilities is to *LISTEN* to patients, and if he can't do that, it's definitely *NOT YOUR FAULT*.

Here's your superheroine cape, all pressed and shiny. Your sidekicks are at your disposal.
(Deleted comment)
12th-Jan-2010 09:40 pm (UTC)
*Looks worried and confused, hits your main page to find previous post*

...They WHAT?! Oh. Gods. Hon, that is awful. Not only did he SKIP the test that was ORDERED in favor of one that wasn't and put you through a now meaningless procedure, he blithely ignored the month of fatigue and pain you put yourself through to PREPARE for the test and counted it as nothing. I doubt that he is aware of the other issues and ideas that the prep raised for you, but you had to acknowledge and deal with that too.

Can you share the physicians name so that others can be cautious of him?
(Deleted comment)
13th-Jan-2010 09:13 am (UTC)
Wow. Yeah, totally understand you feeling like that.

Others have already given you all the advice I'd thought of. Although... did insurance cover 100% of the cost? If you had any out-of-pocket expenses that you paid with a credit card, that's one more stick you can employ.

Performing the wrong procedure *is* medical negligence. Doing so deliberately (if that's what happened here) is treated pretty damn seriously by the medical establishment. Put it this way - most medical procedures would legally be assault were they not in an exempted category... and a an unconsentual non-emergency procedure is (almost certainly, time for a med neg lawyer) an exempted category.

If you're feeling like you've been assaulted, well, you probably were. :(
15th-Jan-2010 05:23 am (UTC)
You have every reason, and every right, to feel the way you feel.

*hugs*

Everyone else has already listed every piece of advice I'd have said - so, I'll just reiterate that there's no reason you have to deal with this alone - look into the patient advocate option, or talk with your GP about what happened - let the system help you advocate for yourself.

I hope you're feeling better soon...
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