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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
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26th-Jun-2009 03:01 pm
Alice: World of my own
So the neuro actually listened. And did not rush me out of her office. And gave actual thought to my course of treatment.

So that's good.

So I'm starting on Gabitril.

...it's tough when the answer to "are you feeling suicidal?" is "...not right now." And it's tough to say "I've been having these awful depressive crashes and this is not me. This never happens. But I've spent half my year curled up on my bathroom floor, feels like. And it's not situational. It has to be chemical. It has to be all this stuff being thrown at my brain."

So I have a new prescription. And a psych referral just in case.

And... to be honest, I am scared. I have had really hellish experiences when changing meds. Epic awful stuff. But I cannot deal with the crashes that have become normal this year. So let's roll the dice.

If you see me at all this weekend or next week, remember that my brain will be wonky, 'k? And wish me luck.

And also wish me luck on transitioning from a rheumatologist to a pain management specialist; am about to call my GP and beg for a referral. Because I need the Celebrex, but I don't think I need the Robaxin - and I want care that's less focused on drugs and more focused on PT. The fewer drugs in my system, the better.

EDIT: For the new kids: I haven't done the anti-seizure drug shuffle in about three years. And the three years I was doing it? The worst of my life.

So. It is scary.

But I am in a better place now. I'm not struggling to fake normalcy to keep a job I hate. I have a good support system. And I will do what I have to.
26th-Jun-2009 07:18 pm (UTC)
Good luck and good thoughts.
26th-Jun-2009 07:20 pm (UTC)
Ugh, i totally understand feeling completely out of it with med changes. I am going back to my pain doc shortly to try to get my pain back under control. I've been researching Savella and we may try that. I went from maintained 2's to maintained 6's. Not cool.

I hope your med change helps and you adjust quickly.
26th-Jun-2009 07:21 pm (UTC)
Good luck with all of it...
26th-Jun-2009 07:21 pm (UTC)
Here's hoping the med change and the referral request both go well. Luck duly wished on all fronts.
26th-Jun-2009 07:23 pm (UTC)
26th-Jun-2009 07:26 pm (UTC)
Here's to hoping that this plays nice with your brain and body.
27th-Jun-2009 01:30 am (UTC)
Now I'm hoping more medical issues can be treated with belly dancing. :-)
26th-Jun-2009 07:27 pm (UTC)
The best of luck and the best of health to you, 'song.
26th-Jun-2009 07:27 pm (UTC) - PS.
I highly recommend pain management specialists as opposed to Dr's whose specialty, technically, is not your illness. I have had a lot of luck with my pain management doc being very willing to help me figure out and try alternative therapies.

So far I have had amazingly good results with a TENS unit, amitryptaline (sp) to sleep, regular massage, acupuncture and aqua aerobics. I also had to do major lifestyle changes: no sustained activity (like vacuuming, typing, or other repetitive movements) for more than 10-15 minutes at a time with a minimum of 10 minutes of rest before resuming. Makes cleaning a pain in the ass, but my pain is down. I also see a counselor for stress management when I am feeling overwhelmed...like now.

I take tramadol/Ultram when the pain is unbearable, and have some harder stuff and muscle relaxers if things get really bad. I have a rescue shot that is morphine if I hit 9-10's which have happened but thankfully not often.

Lyrica worked for awhile, but I was really unhappy with the side effects. So yeah. Highly recommend acupuncture and A. aerobics, especially if you can get it into a therapeutic pool which is kept at around 80 degrees.
26th-Jun-2009 07:28 pm (UTC)
Best of luck.
(Deleted comment)
26th-Jun-2009 07:38 pm (UTC)
And also wish me luck on transitioning from a rheumatologist to a pain management specialist; am about to call my GP and beg for a referral. Because I need the Celebrex, but I don't think I need the Robaxin - and I want care that's less focused on drugs and more focused on PT. The fewer drugs in my system, the better.

This I understand. I no longer take anything for my fibro. No need to delve into history here, but I have been dealing/coping for over 20 yrs w/it and I no longer take anything except otc stuff and at the proper dosages.

I have been treated w/Paxil, Ambien, Welbutrin, Depakote, and stuff I can no longer remember.
I have pain, but I also have my brain back.

26th-Jun-2009 07:38 pm (UTC)
I'm hoping these changes are both easy and good for you, darlin'.
26th-Jun-2009 07:42 pm (UTC)
I hope it works. And I can't help but think that a pain specialist would be a good thing. Especially if they can get you into aquatic therapy -- that's done more for my pain levels than any amount of drugs, and all I'm doing is water aerobics in a regular pool.
26th-Jun-2009 07:49 pm (UTC)
Substitute "in my bed" for "bathroom floor"....


Med transitions suck...I'll have one coming up but don't know yet what it'll be...all we know is two anti-depressants are not enough :-P and the 3 times we tried weaning me off one of them all went...badly.

*more hugs* and best of luck and wishes!!
26th-Jun-2009 08:09 pm (UTC)
Good luck with the new meds!
26th-Jun-2009 08:10 pm (UTC)

Drug roulette sucks. Here to listen if you need it.
Keep us updated. You're not doing this alone.
26th-Jun-2009 08:11 pm (UTC)
Blessings and a light in the dark to you, 'Song.
Hang in there. You are not alone.

26th-Jun-2009 08:12 pm (UTC)
GoodThoughts, by the millions.

I, too, hate medication changes - I call it "medication roulette."

(I've got an appointment with a new doctor Tuesday, because my beloved-for-6-years doc has left that practice, and has gone to one where medicare will cover even less of the cost and my copay will be higher. So far, new doc has shorted me on refilling pain meds and *not* *returned* *several* *calls* as to why. Does not bode well; I suspect next month I'm calling Pac Med and getting an appt. with Jessica. Gah.)
26th-Jun-2009 08:14 pm (UTC)
Well, if God forbid, the adjustment is difficult, then please remember, you've got folks around to help you through it. ASK them for the help if'n you need it.
26th-Jun-2009 08:14 pm (UTC)
You know I can relate to this. I'm here listening. I hope this works and things get better and I'm glad the doc is listening (unlike some old ones you've had).
26th-Jun-2009 08:16 pm (UTC)
*lots and lots of hugs*

PT is a *good* thing. I LOVE my PT and credit her for a lot of my successful management and where I am today.
26th-Jun-2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
Oh, doesn't the merry-meds-of-the-month club totally suck crusty goat balls? I'm glad you had a good appointment with a doc who LISTENED. (People who don't have ongoing health problems don't understand what a big deal that it.)

I wish you the smoothest transition possible. And brightly painted toenails. And ice cream cones. And kitty bellies waiting to be rubbed.
26th-Jun-2009 08:43 pm (UTC)
26th-Jun-2009 09:00 pm (UTC)
Yay for you for having the courage to tell your doctor what you need! You get a cookie!

Yay for a doctor who listens when you tell them what you need! They get a cookie, but it's smaller than yours because that's what they're supposed to do and you're being all courageous and stuff.

Give yourself room for weirdness. Probably be good to keep a health journal (in a notebook) so you can better track what you're feeling and when.

I'll be sending you supportive energy from Philly.
(Deleted comment)
26th-Jun-2009 09:52 pm (UTC) - I remember your meds-switching years.
Again, distinctly not fun. I hope this one will have you less roller-coaster-y.
26th-Jun-2009 10:04 pm (UTC)
Good luck. I remember med-switching. I know that feeling.
26th-Jun-2009 10:13 pm (UTC)
Good luck. I had a brush with suicidal ideation when I first went on antianxiety meds -- mild and brief as it was, it scared the pants off me.
26th-Jun-2009 10:30 pm (UTC)
Good luck! We're rooting for you.
28th-Jun-2009 09:04 pm (UTC)
Best healing wishes.

Let me know if you need alone time; I can offer homework/hanging out space to Elayna.
30th-Jun-2009 03:45 am (UTC)
2nd-Jul-2009 09:53 am (UTC)
You're good to me. :) She's in Explo this week already, though - so at least I don't have that to worry about!
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